Luke Fantastic
by Melundomeiel
Summary: Meet Luke. A sheepish, terribly dressed, 25 year-old individual. Luke has had the unfailing fortune of finding himself in Ivalice, with little to account for how he arrived there. Follow the distressed Luke on his romp through Ivalice, with a certain crew


Okay, so I really enjoy writing fan fiction, and original fiction. I figured, why not try incorporating a bit of both?

To do that, I decided I would take an original character of mine, and screw around with his life as I normally do. But instead of setting his house on fire, like I did last time, I decided I would send him on a delightful romp through the land of Ivalice. With the wonderful Final Fantasy XII crew, naturally. With that in mind, I have no intentions of playing matchmaker with my character. None of the XII chicks would be into him, and he can barely handle relationships anyway.

And so, meet Luke. He isn't prepared for anything out of the ordinary, let alone anything _in_ the ordinary. Let's find out how he deals with this adventure. (Rating of T is for language.)

* * *

**Luke Fantastic**

* * *

Chapter 1: Cylinder.

Luke was writing again. This time he was writing a story about a boy who desperately wanted a puppy. That was as far as he got. He had no idea where to go with the idea…so he decided to stop writing.

"Unnnhg…" Luke groaned, leaning back into his couch. "I don't know what to write."

Yet again, Luke managed to fail at doing what he wanted to turn into a career. With failure fully accepted, Luke decided to go for a walk.

….

Having left his house and locked the door, Luke started down the sidewalk.

Now Luke was a twenty-five year-old man, with blonde hair, blue eyes, and questionable fashion choice. He had issues when it came to confronting crowds, individuals, and even small children. In a word, Luke was…sheepish. So much so, that he could barely bring himself to look people in the eyes during perfectly normal social situations. And when it came to unusual social situations…well, Luke could barely talk, let alone make eye contact.

It was October, rather gloomy and overcast, on a Wednesday afternoon. Luke didn't know where he was walking, but he figured that it didn't really matter, considering he lived in the suburbs, and all streets would look the same…no matter where he wandered.

….

Luke had been walking for several blocks, when he noticed someone walking toward him. It was his ex-girlfriend, Freda. His face twitched. As usual, Luke became incredibly paranoid and untrusting, looking around for somewhere to escape to. His walk turned into an awkward shuffle, and his breathing slightly irregular. Luke spotted a path that lead off to a park, and behind the park was a little wooded area. Looking back and forth swiftly, barely catching a glimpse of Freda waving a friendly hello, he made a break for it.

Luke's 'run' was essentially an enigma in the physical world. It seemed to be halfway between a limp and a jog. As a result of this bizarre run, Luke's sprint wasn't much faster than a speed walk. Despite this pathetic display of athletics, Luke managed to get into the little wooded area 'swiftly' enough to avoid an uncomfortable encounter with his ex.

But he also ended up tripping and falling into a damp and leafy hole in the ground.

* * *

Luke woke up. He was lying on the upper half of his back, with his ass leaning against some unseen wall. He seemed to be halfway through a somersault in his current position. Luke noted how undeniably uncomfortable he was. He voiced his lack of comfort with, "Fuuuuck…." He rolled himself onto his side, banging his head off a wall in the process. He let out a pained groan. He seemed to be in a cylinder.

"What is this?" Luke questioned the darkness. Nothing answered, so he tried standing up. He ended up smacking his head off the ceiling of his miniature prison, "FUCK." Luke clutched his head and sat at the bottom of the cylinder, pouting.

There was a loud click, and then a clanking noise that erupted around Luke.

"Oh god, oh god…." Luke was freaking out, which was entirely understandable, given the circumstances.

Then the lid of the cylinder opened, letting in light. And the face of a blonde, androgynous-looking person. Luke honestly couldn't identify the gender; it was a mystery, at least until the person yelled (and rather loudly), "BALTHIER, SOMEONE'S IN ONE OF THE MISSILE COMPARTMENTS!"

And then another voice, far calmer called out, "What _are_ you talking about Vaan? That's absolute nonsense."

Luke made himself as small as possible, hoping that would help him avoid being seen by these strangers. Of course, that was stupid, considering he was in a cylinder that was only big enough to contain himself. And perhaps a coconut.

The androgynous boy looked down at him now and asked, "Who are you?"

Luke let out a strange noise that was something between a groan and a squeak.

"What?"

Clearing his throat noisily, he finally managed a weak, "Luke."

"What are you doing in here?"

Luke opened and shut his mouth a few times, much like a fish would, but before he could get anything out that was even relatively similar to human speech…a man was looking down with the boy.

The man smiled wryly and said, "It seems we have ourselves a stowaway Vaan."

"I am not!" Luke blurted all of a sudden.

The man shifted his glance down at Luke, who twitched uncomfortably, as he normally did when he was under social stress. "Really? And how is it you are _not _a stowaway?

Luke looked at the small patch of floor beyond his feet—where the coconut would fit—and frowned with a look bordering on distress. He then managed to say, "I don't even know where I am…"

Vaan and Balthier exchanged looks.

Balthier frowned, clearly not convinced, "How could you end up in a missile compartment of an air ship and _not_ know where you are?"

Luke shrugged, continuing to stare where the coconut would fit.

Balthier rolled his eyes, "Out."

Luke looked up slowly, and stupidly, noting that the man was indeed speaking to him. He stood up and clambered out of the cylinder, ultimately tumbling into a heap on the floor. He let out a weary groan.

"Where are you going Balthier?" Vaan asked, as Balthier started to walk away.

"To the cockpit. I've a ship to land in Bhujerba." Waving a hand idly as he walked away Balthier added, "Help our stowaway to a seat, would you?"

"Are you sur—?"

"We'll deal with him after the landing."

Barely paying attention to what was happening around him, Luke rose slowly into a standing position, holding his sore head. He looked at the blonde, raising an eyebrow at the boy's choice in clothing. Which was funny, considering Luke was wearing a tweed jacket, orange t-shirt, and green 100 percent cashmere, 10 percent rayon pants. All with a lovely pair of sneakers.

"Are you Aladdin?" Luke asked Vaan suddenly, making a snuffling noise that was supposed to be his laugh.

"What? No, my name's Vaan." He stopped frowning at Luke a moment and asked, "What's your name?"

"Luke." He frowned. "I told you that already."

Vaan blinked. "Oh, you did." Shaking his head slightly, he got back on track, "Come on Luke, we'll be landing soon." He led Luke toward the cockpit, where Balthier had disappeared moments before.

"So is this an air plane or something?" Luke asked, looking around at the various tubes, doors and questionable boxes strewn about the ship as they walked.

"No, this is an air ship!" Vaan grinned at him, "You're among sky pirates!"

Luke looked at Vaan with a raised eyebrow, for a second time. "Uh huh."

"Have you never been on an air ship before?"

"I've been on an air _plane_ before."

Vaan frowned toward Luke a moment, but before he could bother questioning him, they had arrived at the door to the cockpit. "Take a seat and buckle up." Vaan said, finding his own seat.

Luke walked in slowly, and made his way to a seat off to the left of the room. He sat down, took a few awkward moments to figure out how the seat buckle worked, and then tried to relax as he took in his surroundings.

To his right, a man with a scar across his forehead and ear sat, looking terribly serious and terribly dressed. (At least, it was a terrible outfit by Luke's standards, whatever those were.)

At the front, where the window was, sat Balthier and a strange woman with…rabbit ears? Luke's face contorted into a fit of confusion and distress. "Where the hell am I?" he thought worriedly.

Trying his best to ignore his surroundings now, Luke stared at his sneakers, frowning as if in deep concentration.

But despite Luke's efforts, a rough and unfamiliar voice spoke up, "Who are you?" He continued to stare at his sneakers, pretending he didn't hear.

"That's Luke," said Vaan, "I found him in a missile compartment."

Luke ignored the conversation as best he could.

"Which you _shouldn't_ have been poking around in." Balthier piped up with, a note of irritation in his voice.

The blonde ignored the comment as if Balthier hadn't spoken. "Hey Luke," Vaan said cheerily, trying to get Luke's attention, which still remained with his sneakers.

After a moment of silence, Luke finally gave up. He looked over at Vaan.

Vaan gave him a friendly smile. Nodding his head to his left he said, "That's Basch."

Luke glanced over to his right, where the man in red sat. "Hi."

Basch gave him a slight frown, and nodded in recognition. "Good to meet you, Luke."

"Er, yeah." Luke nodded until his gaze was back to his sneakers. He was ready to freak out.

"We'll be landing now." A female voice said.

Luke was reminded of the foreign sight of rabbit ears. With a groan, he slumped down into his seat, covering his face with both hands.


End file.
